The Colossal Derp

The Colossal Derp
(this was, I guess you can say requested by trohobo. This has giantess content. So if you don’t like it, get out of here. Oh and if you have any hate comments towards him, say it to me. Enjoy)
It was a cold and snowy day in the human Ponyville. All the people were frolicking and basking in the snow. Many of the kids including Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo were having a snowball fight. “I love this time of year ya’ll.” Applebloom said as she picked up snow. She formed it into a ball and threw it at Sweetie Belle. “Oh you’re going to get it.” Sweetie Belle picked up snow and formed it into a ball.
Before she could throw the snow ball, she was interrupted. “Well, well, if it isn’t the girl scout rejects.” A familiar voice was heard behind the three girls. They turned around to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “Having a pathetic snowball fight?” Silver Spoon walked up to Sweetie Belle and put her hand under Sweetie’s. She shoved her hand up, forcing the snowball to hit Sweetie in the face. As the snow fell off, Sweetie Belle started to cry.
The two girls started to laugh. Applebloom and Scootaloo walked in front of the two bullies. “We have had it with you two.” Scootaloo snarled. Diamond snickered, “what are you going to do? Tattle on us?” the anger boiled in the two. Scootaloo approached Diamond and punched her in the face. Applebloom got in front of Silver and spin kicked her in the face. They got into a fight without Diamond or Silver landing a single blow. Diamond and Silver ran away crying. Tears melted the snow under their feet.
The three of them had a big smile on their faces. “Glad they’re out of the way.” Applebloom said. Applejack walked up to Applebloom and her friends. “We’re decorating the big tree in the center of town. Did you want to come along?” “Yeah.” They all said.
Many of the citizens were gathered around the tree, including Mystery Mint, Trixie, the Mane six, and even Derpy. “The Great and Powerful Trixie shall put on the most interesting ornament.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “whatever Trixie.” Rainbow put on a guitar ornament. Derpy walked away. “I’ll be back with the star.” “Pfff, I hope not.” Mystery said.
Derpy was walking alone to her house. “I’m gonna buy a big ladder then get a big star. It’s going to be great.” She said happily. She walked into a hardware store. She walked down the aisles to look at different ladders. “Oh this will do.” She grabbed a ten foot ladder and walked to the counter. “How much is this?” she asked. The man at the counter had a five o ‘clock shadow, had a deep groggy voice, and had bags under his eyes.

“$35.95 just like the tag says. Can’t you read?” Derpy had a shocked look on her face. “I didn’t see it there.” She got her wallet out of her purse. She gave him two twenty dollar bills. He opened the register with a ‘ping’ sound. He put the cash in and gave her back her change. Derpy grabbed the ladder and started to walk out. “Thank you. Happy holidays.” The man looked at her as he said, “yeah, yeah. Get out of here.” Derpy looked at him before leaving.
Derpy walked back to her house and got a large star. She then walked back to the large tree. “I’m back.” Derpy yelled with enthusiasm. No one said a thing. “Good. Go ahead and put the star on.” Twilight said. Derpy looked at her to see her smiling. Derpy gave a hardy smile in return.
Derpy leaned the ladder up against the tree. She then put her star in her hand. She climbed up the ladder. Her winter boots clicked with each step. “Hey Derpy, are you sure you could see with your crossed eyes?” Dumb-bell said. Derpy started to lose her focus. She got five feet up the ladder before she started to wobble. “Whoa.” She continued to walk and got half a foot up. She lost her balance as the ladder tipped to the side. She grabbed a tree branch and hung for dear life. “Help.” The tree then fell to the side knocking it down and destroying a small food cart along with it.
Derpy looked up at angry eyes glaring down at her. Their eyes burned into her soul. She felt as if she just had the death sentence. “Booo!” the crowd yelled at her and threw ornaments at her. Many of the people yelled at her and cursed at her. “Get out of here.” “You fucked everything up.” “You should have gotten those eyes fixed when you were born.” “Asshole.” Derpy ran away in tears. She felt her heart was broken.
She ran as fast as she could, and found herself in a dark alley. She stopped as she noticed fog curling around her legs, the damp ground moistened her boots, and the stale air filled her nostrils. She noticed a shop in front of her. She opened the door as it creaked open. The hinges were rusted and the wood on the door was dilapidated.
The dark room suddenly lit up. Shelves were full of vials and potions. She walked up to the counter to see if there was anyone there. A man walked out of a room behind the counter. “Can I help you?” Derpy was silent before speaking. “Do you have anything to fill my wild desires? I want to fix this eye.” The man bowed before walking over to a shelf with a single vial. Inside, it contained an aqua green colored liquid.



He gives the vial to Derpy. “Here. That will be $10.50” Derpy got her wallet out and gave the man the money. “Now before you drink it, ask yourself. What is your true desire?” Derpy stood still looking up at the ceiling. She drank the potion before throwing the vial away. She then made her way out the door. She took her phone out and looked at herself. “Soon, everyone will pay for making fun of me.”
Derpy stood there waiting, but nothing was happening. “That jerk! He ripped me off.” She started to get angry. She then felt a surge of energy going through her body. She started to grow bigger and bigger. She grew to be 100 feet tall. Everyone saw her in the sky. They stood in fear and didn’t move.
Derpy walked towards the center of town, destroying buildings and structures along the way. She smashed one building with her fists, and stomped another building. She then reached the center of town and saw all the people on the ground. She picked up Dumb-bell and put him in the back of her underwear. “Enjoy.” She sat down on two others. Tiny blood puddles filled where the bodies were. She then picked up Bulk Biceps. “You’ll enjoy this.” She put him in the front of her underwear. She then rubbed him around. She then stopped. “Oops, I hope you didn’t go in.” she chuckled maniacally.
She then took her foot out of her boot and picked up Mystery Mint. “I hope you like my smelly feet.” She dropped Mystery in her boot. “Oh goodness, it smells like rotten cheese.” She looked up to see Derpy’s foot coming down on her. “No, please. Please don’t crush me. NOOOOO!” a tiny crunch followed. Derpy wiggled her smelly toes over the body. She picked up Trixie and threw her across town. “You’ll pay for this.” She yelled before being silenced.
Derpy then picked up Rainbow Dash. “Wait, Derpy please. I’m your friend.” Derpy lifted her over her mouth. “Derpy no, don’t eat me. Please I beg you.” She dropped Rainbow Dash in her mouth. Her breath was awful. She started to chew and it was crunchy. Blood trickled down the side of Derpy’s mouth.  
Everyone was screaming and running. Derpy started stomping and eating everybody. She then picked up Pinkie Pie. “Hi.” Pinkie said with a smile. Derpy smiled back and put her in between her breasts. Derpy smoothed Pinkie until she couldn’t breathe. Derpy then continued to smash buildings and step on civilians.
A sound echoed through the town that rattled Derpy’s ears. She looked behind her to see five Haybrams Tanks. (Abrams Tanks). She also noticed 100 soldiers standing next to the tanks. A general was holding his hand up. “Ready,” he threw his hand down. “Fire.” The tanks and the soldiers started firing at the giantess. Derpy got enraged and stomped one tank. The soldiers’ firing intensified.

“Get to cover.” “We need reinforcements.” The soldiers hid behind buildings and underneath the destroyed rubble. Derpy picked up another tank and threw it at a group of soldiers. She killed many soldiers as she rampaged deeper into the town. Twilight ran in front of the General. “Please sir, you don’t have to kill her, she just needs some talking to and friendship.” The general looked at her. “Missy, she has cost us many lives, she must be destroyed. “No.” she ran towards the giantess.
Twilight caught up with Derpy. “Derpy!” she looked down to see Twilight. Derpy stopped and picked her up. “You look tasty.” “Derpy wait, I can help you. I can get you the respect you deserve. You’re my friend.” Derpy looked at Twilight. “Derpy, look around you. You’ve destroyed all of Ponyville. You can still make friends. It’s not too late.”
Derpy’s eyes filled with tears as she started to cry. She started shrinking back to normal size. Derpy then fell to her knees and covered her face. “I’m sorry.” Twilight put her hand on Derpy’s back to reassure her. “It’s okay Derpy,” Twilight said. “If anyone should be sorry, it’s the citizens.” Derpy wiggles her toes. “I think something’s in my shoe. But it feels nice.” Twilight heled Derpy to up and took her to her house.
Derpy ended up apologizing but was thrown in jail anyway. She was later released on bail. After that, some feared her. Others became her friend.
THE END

(Note: I know this story does not make any sense and that the storyline was crap. But this was the first time I wrote something like this. I wrote a short story for another friend but that was different. I’m better at writing horror and action. And no, this is not supposed to be a knock off of the Hulk or anything else. I just threw a bunch of ideas together and followed the settings given to me. I hope you enjoyed the story anyway. And I’ll admit myself that this wasn’t my best.)